This is Belinda Blumenthal's webpage;

Welcome to Steeles Pots and Pans!!

Just Published;
Belinda Blinked... The Extra Bits 1
All the Xmas Specials and... The Road to Completion; a Rockyesque sexy look at buying your first home...

Oh Hi! everyone....
and yes... Sweet Treats and "Lockdown 69" are now published on Amazon Kindle and as an Amazon paperback!!! Chapter 1 is below...

Now unBanned!!

from Apple and B&N for being too rude and the cover is now ammended... hooray....

And for your Spanish speaking friends... Belinda Blinked 1 in Spanish!! Thank you Luis Miguel Lozano!!

All the following and more are available on Etsy...
Rocky hand knitted doll at Etsy Rocky pomegranate design neck gaiter at Etsy Rocky designer leopard prit rash guard shirt at Etsy Rocky Flintstone pomegranate T shirt at Etsy Rocky Flintstone signature Mug at Etsy Rocky dad hat at Etsy Rocky pomegranate mug at Etsy Rocky jus ish words mug at Etsy

But as you've come a long way to find Lockdown 69... here's the first chapter...

"Lockdown 69"

A Belinda Blinked Special... for very Unspecial times...

Chapter 1;
A delivery of sorts;

The delivery van moved off slowly. 24 single beds lay stacked in the Steeles head office carpark.
'Hrrrrmmph…' fumed Sir James, 'a fine kettle of fish this is.'
'Now now, don't get excited Jamsie….. ' exhaled a fraught Countess Zara, 'think of my pet chow a wow locked
in my St Petersburg flat… it doesn't bear thinking about.' she sniffed.

Belinda looked anxiously out of her office window; it had a glorious view of the Steeles car park and enabled
her to monitor all comings and goings.
It reminded her of the widows watch she had at the top of her house in the Bahamas.
She hoped the mattresses would be comfortable, divan sprung would be just the ticket.
That thought prompted her to look at her watch, where was he, it had been a simple task and one that she'd
entrusted to her top RSM.
At that moment an old dirty yellow coloured panel van coughed and spluttered it's way to the office entrance.
The driver jumped out, looked up at Belinda's office window and put his thumbs up… he'd got them!

Quietly and without a fuss, Des Martin started to unload his packages…… they were small and light,
something anyone his size could easily handle.
Each parcel bounced as it hit the ground…. a sign of the Gods perhaps, but alas it was natures way,
tightly bound toilet rolls always behaved in that fashion.

Belinda exhaled a heavy cloud of tension released CO2….
'Thank God,' she thought, 'at least we can all excrete in decency…. and they'll be very useful in mopping up
any excess fluids that might escape from…….'
Her mind was jolted from it's thought pattern as her senior Special Account Manager charged into her office.
'Belinda……. I want to go home…. I mean it's not an unusual request, I've got 3 weeks holiday owing and I
want to take them……. now….'
Bella settled herself on the mahogany desk and let her naked cervix expand over its polished surface.
Her readily flowing juices trickled across the desk and Belinda thought of toilet roll, mopping them up,
swishing them down… but thought again…… fuck it……… lets do it the old fashioned way....

After Belinda's pep talk, Bella understood that she had to play the game.
"Lockdown 69" was for the best… a team effort, something to work at and show true effort, it would be hard…
but the benefits could be amazing…… a new job… promotion… the world was her oyster. Promotion to Head Person
Australia was on the cards. Bella's little tootsies curled up at the prospect.
Belinda's office phone rang urgently…. three times. On the third ring Belinda answered,
'Blumenthal here…… what's up?'
'Hi Belinda, Tony…. get your fat arse up here now and bring Bella…… we've got some screwing to do, and she needs
the experience.'
Tony put the phone down abruptly….. a sign he was under pressure.
Belinda gasped……. 'she needs the experience…' not the Bella Ridley she knew.

As they walked into Tony's outer office, Maeve looked up and smiled her wonderful Irish smile,
'He's got you both some presents…' she breathed out deeply.
Bella and Belinda turned away instantly… garlic breath was for vampires, not senior sales execs.
'Not your average Irish meal,' Bella squeaked at Belinda, 'should be cabbage pie, or even toads in potato….
my fav… will the canteen be serving it?'
'Not on my watch Miss Bella.' Belinda replied harshly. She too was becoming fraught, Tony's telephone manner
had her on edge and she didn't mind admitting it… that was of course if anyone asked her.
Tony shouted through to Maeve, 'Send them in pronto Maeve, otherwise we'll be here all night!'
'On you go,' Maeve replied softly, 'and the best o'luck to youse.'
She smiled sweetly and Belinda thought of demotion letters. This employee was getting ahead of herself.
The two girls walked through the doorway and immediately four silver objects flashed through the air bound
directly at their tits…

Belinda reacted immediately and with Ninja like reactions caught two of the flying objects cleanly in her
hands. Bella wasn't so fast, but her natural assets came to her aid as the two items each hit a large boobie
and fell to the ground safely.
'Wow Tony…… didn't know you were such an expert shot.' exploded Belinda.
Bella just grunted and rubbed her mammaries gently, eventually letting go a soft expletive.
'Years of service in the army, just telling you that for background info.' said Tony.
Belinda nodded and looked at the objects in her hand, one was a box cutter and the other a screwdriver.
Bella's was the same.
'Why these Tony and more pertinently, why us?'
'Goes with the territory Belinda, sales people get the shit jobs… and believe you me, this is a shit job.'
Tony sighed remorsefully.
'We could resign!' shouted Bella still rubbing her titties.
'Is that a request or a statement?' Tony asked with a menacing look clouding over his facial features.

Belinda replied harshly now starting to lose it too.
'Let's not be hasty Tony…. let good people go and they'll never come back… and I ain't hiring some dumbos
just to fill shoes when all this is over…'
'Sorry Bella… yeah you're right Belinda… let's stick with the trash we already have, God help us….'
Belinda sighed, Bella burped…. lunch had been very satisfactory.
'Ok,' Tony continued, 'sit down and let's do this.'
Bella and Belinda grappled for the one soft luxurious brown leather seat normally occupied by Maeve when
she was taking dictation.
'Ah, ah, ah…. Bella, seniority rules and seeing as I'm the Sales Director, sorry, International Sales Director
and your boss, I'm pulling rank. Sorry…'
Bella let go of the chair suddenly and Belinda stumbled with it on top of her into the office wall.
'Ok then Boss,' Bella replied sweetly, 'I'll just have to do with this hard, straight back plastic thing
someone somewhere calls a chair.'
Bella sat down suddenly hoping she'd crush it into the ground and get ten sick days leave. Perhaps a nice
insurance claim for whiplash… that'd be a bonus.
The chair buckled, it's plastic legs straining under the wake of the unsuspected attack...

At the very last moment the resilience of modern day plastics came to her aid and the chair held its structure.
Tony shook his head, now he'd seen it all.
'First question Belinda…. where's Jim Thompson, I need an update on sales numbers.
'Good question Tony,' Belinda replied nonchalantly whilst Bella looked at the ceiling and started whistling.
'he's on honeymoon.'
'Honeymoon!' Tony scoffed, 'what do you mean honeymoon… the guy must be all of 58 years old!'
'Maybe a late starter?' interjected Bella.
'No he's not Bella, Peggie Strumpethouse is his fourth wife, you know her, the one with rotten breath in purchase
Bella answered too quickly….
'That cow… she knocked back my new leather swivel chair two months ago.'
Tony interjected feeling things were getting out of control again,
'Pray tell me dearest Belinda just where are they honeymooning?
'That's the problem Tony, they're stuck in some South Sea Island, they can't get back…'
'South Sea Island, South Sea Island! Belinda, we're paying these people far too much…. a South Sea Island… I ask you!'

Tony sorted a sheaf of papers on his desk and asked his next question.
'So Belinda, tell me has the entertainment… sorry slip of the tongue, the training lady arrived yet?'
'Natasha Biles….? Yes they're in reception with Paddy the Barman getting key cards organised.'
'They!' shouted Tony, 'you mean there's two of them?'
Tony put his hands in his head and screamed,
'Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck… is she Welsh too?'
Belinda answered,
'With a name like Samantha Jones I would think so boyo…'
Bella looked at Belinda and mouthed,
'He's losing it….'
Belinda Blinked;

Belinda goes riding Poster at Etsy

Chapter 2;
A high level meeting;

Tony calmed down, just a little, Maeve popped in with a cup of steaming hot coffee and
offered Belinda and Bella a Gin and Tonic.
'Ohh yesss please, slurp slurp...' replied a sucking in air Bella.
Belinda smiled and nodded thinking, 'Perhaps I've been a bit harsh with Maeve.'
Tony sipped his coffee and continued,

and the rest.. all 13 chapters; as they say is on Amazon.... enjoy!

Live shows...

The team have revised dates for their World Tour in 2021/22 so check the new dates here...

Breaking News... Stunning London Penthouse for sale...

Genuine sale due to owner moving to new international job responsibilities.
As promised here are the details of Belinda's penthouse in centralish London...

Three Bed Penthouse Apartment for Sale; Starting Price £2,950,000
Owner may consider renting to suitable foreign power. (references required)
69 Half Moon Street. London.W1J 7AZ
Central London location; Just 5 minutes from Mayfair;

Sole Selling Agents; Hurst, Blumenthal & Burt;

Unique opportunity to purchase a stunning roof top residence just minutes from Green Park Tube Station
with its excellent transport facilities;
Located on the edge of the International Embassy district with all its Government paid for security.
Underground car parking for 4+ cars;

Property description;
A luxurious top floor apartment (with 2 lifts and private spiral staircase) situated within a period
building of Edwardian distinction, close to Park Lane.
The property comprises hallway, reception room leading to magnificent roof terrace, granite finished kitchen,
magnificent master bedroom with en suite and waterbed (to be negotiated),
2nd double bedroom en suite, 3rd single bedroom, bathroom/shower room with wooden flooring,
24 hour concierge and parking for 4+ vehicles.
Stunning 6th floor City of London views; South-West facing aspect;
Topiary Gardens with private BBQ and Hot Tub area.
Secure Large Underground Parking and Long Leasehold

That personal touch...

If you want to see what Rocky has available in the way of personally signed Book Cover Posters and Books
pop over to his website at

My Dad Wrote a Porno hardback Book 1... the annotated version of Belinda Blinked 1... jus sayin...
plus his personal signature... plus an 8/10 word message from you to yourself or a friend... and double plus,
a very dubious business card... and free shipping!
My Dad Wrote a Porno Hard backed book

Jigsaw Puzzle anyone?

Belinda Blinked Turkey Moment puzzle

Here's a copy of my Curriculum Vitae....
Belinda's CV
Now that's what you need to get a job these days...

Hey wait... have you tried the new Oxy Brillo range.... why not? Just contact Bella or Maeve...
whoops, sorry she's not available... for the next 20 years!!
for your free brochure or visit our new online website! Sorry replys might take a bit longer but we're a
bit shortstaffed due to recent events...
I believe we still have some woks in stock, but they're all cast iron, the mild steel ones have gone... sorry!
Also, would you mind not ordering next day delivery as Bella gets a bit mad about this.
I think it's because the pots'n pans scratch her painted finger nails and Jim doesn't like her looking like a tramp.
If you want to set up an account and need a visit, then I can send one of my RSM's in to see you.
It won't be me as I'm doing International stuff for a different company for the next few years.
If you'd prefer to have a one on one with me, get in touch with Giselle and she'll put you in the diary for whenever.
Can you hold on that long?

And here are the latest posters... they're a tad racy.... I think my assets are bigger than the Duchess...
the Duchess Belinda goes riding Poster at Etsy Cubicle Confessions poster

Have you found Rocky's website yet? Have a look, he can be found at

Now don't forget ordering those pots and pans... I need the sales!!!
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